* IMPORTANT TO BE OPTIMISTIC? ... ah yes! scientific studies show that optimism increase our physical and intellectual capacities! ... Eg. the strength to face a serious illness (traditional medicine can not explain the direct links between optimism and forgiveness or healing, Chinese medicine tells us that when our Qi (vital energy) flows smoothly through the meridians of our body, we are most of our physical, mental and spiritual state ... "serenity active! but if this energy decrease, so there is vulnerability action on our mental and physical health. At the root of our emotions, our bodies ... the anxious, pessimistic, stressed the block energy in the liver where constipation, headaches, blurred vision, gynecological problems, tendinitis ... etc. ..). Practicing the "inner smile" reduces the risk of strokes, prolongs life span of 7 ½ years and provides better intellectual performance.
"healthy mind, healthy body!
* THEN WHAT DOES "BEING OPTIMISTIC"? ... be positive, look on the bright side, be confident in the future, given the uncertain assuming a favorable outcome and act to facilitate it.
° be optimistic is a way of thinking and also action. All parents should have the desire to convey a taste of life to their children rather than put them through their emotional ... to inspire a positive mindset is it possible or is it a natural tendency innate genetically transmitted by parents? ... Is currently impossible to conclude that heredity but can be extrapolated from recent work on depression and state of mind that goes with it: pessimism. The pessimistic reasoning "backwards" ... for him, success is accidental and failure is part of his being. Studies in the U.S. tend to show that depressive disorders in children and teenagers are more common when parents are depressed. Researchers claim that children who have suffered parental pessimism so early may become depressed themselves as an adult! VERY IMPORTANT: THE STORIES OF PREGNANCY ... depressed mothers give birth to a Baby depressive CAPACITY TO optimism or pessimism grows so BY MARK ON TODDLERS, real sponges . Parents transmit Indeed, unbeknownst to them, emotions, moods, and behaviors ...
HAPPILY AT LEAST IF IMITATION BY BEING THE CASE, THE PARENTS ARE GROWING OPTIMISTIC ATTITUDE IN THEIR CHILDREN BY THEIR BEHAVIOR AND THEIR CHOICE OF LIFE ... AND THUS BECOME PARENTS 'MODELS OF REFERENCE " ....
THE LEARNING PROCESS BEING BEST IMITATION!
* THEN BE A PARENT HOW OPTIMISTIC, HOW TO WORK HIS OPTIMISM?
° Have a threefold vision:
; @ a vision of itself constructive
@ a worldview and not realistic idealist
; @ An objective view of its future
@ a constructive vision of the self means having confidence in their parenting role, and also in their careers, which is not to denigrate, is to be "acceptable parents.
@ worldview realistic and not idealistic is be aware of the realities of life is to adopt the principles of TAO (Chinese wisdom): "I appreciate what I have instead of complaining that I did not" and also "life follows the law of alternation: happiness and misfortune, sickness and health, frustration and satisfaction. Nothing is ever final. "
"forget the concepts of luck and misfortune, disaster today could tomorrow be a boon and vice versa"
"I can appreciate the difficulties because they are the ones that I advance "
" I accept reality as it presents itself to me, I can not resist, I did not submit, I gives the power to act "
@ an objective view of its future :" prepare for tomorrow today "
" everything happens in its time, I cultivate patience, the art of knowing how to wait "" I brake my enthusiasm when things go well, I do not give in to discouragement when they go wrong. "
* Recognize the middle : know its capacity - an inventory of yourself, failures, achievements, qualities, flaws ...; detect its own sources of satisfaction in order to grow to build the life that suits us, adopt the The idea that there is always a solution to any problem, however imperfect, of pleasure seeking should be a source of satisfaction to adopt her child the same attitude ...
* adopt the idea of genuine optimism : use every moment to transform itself to better the world transform it - to enjoy the moment and enjoy the inner peace instead of wasting time to ruminate about the past and dread the future!
"everything changes all the time, so I can take nothing for granted"
* tell your child ... as Dolto "Doing with life now, I do what I can to make you happy, but it's not always because of me if it goes wrong: life is not always as we wish. you make it if you know look on the bright side. "
mental preparation, psychological need to learn to adopt optimizing our thoughts ... optimistic slogan DARE.
° Your child is anxious .... WHAT?
* = Anxiety = pessimism ... anxious child anxious parents ...
fault tracing is necessary.
* perhaps does makes one frightened into believing that he can not do it alone (so to teach him his own fears ...)
is it too hatched? hyper-protected, nurtured? missing you it trusted?
* Feeling anxious in a situation where unknown or difficult for a new stage of self-construction is normal! but if anxiety becomes paralyzing (lockups, anxiety attacks, various ailments, attitudes, fears, phobias) .. take into account is required; cest the body that speaks!
* there is no profile of child anxiety, but anxiety is recognizable to a beam ... body language signs: insomnia, impaired Food, refusal to attend school, rejection of social contacts, excessive shyness, withdrawal or aggression. The important thing is not to catalog the child "anxious to life! the key is to take into account his personality, his areas of weakness ... and to accompany him. YOUR ATTITUDE IS DECISIVE : Identify times when anxiety occurs, observe, listen and then reassure him.
* soothe the anxiety of the child 2 stages: 1. it is serene, he gives clear explanations and reassuring. 2. By refining its understanding of the situation by asking more specific questions, we discuss various parent - not before him - to make adjustments. RULE: NEVER Dramatize, DO NOT DENY OR MINIMIZE. The anxiety of children is often associated with separation anxiety ... hence the importance of explaining the situations he fears with simple words; Anxiety may also be due to pressure from parents who demand academic results and extra-curricular. The anxious child needs limits clearly and firmly asked (permissiveness and fuzzy - As well as too much rigidity and lack of listening provides opportunities for anxiety)
* are of Parents 'acceptable' : the child is not there to fix your life, bring your dreams, renew your narcissism, it is a unique being different from you: he needs to be listened to, valued and supported in its success shortcomings, it needs to be "accompanied".
* At each age anxiety ... anxiety accompanies each step because of the psychological and emotional construction of the child.
° from birth to 6 months = immediate events and unexpected (noise, light) as well as loss of physical contact with the mother are sources of anxiety.
° 6 months to 2 years = anxiety is caused by people and new situations ... fear of foreigners to six months, 8-9 months of peak separation anxiety from the mother and especially those familiar.
° = 2 to 4 years to be alone in the dark, large animals , loud noises generate anxiety ... and always the separation from familiar people (remember to prepare the child's entry to kindergarten)
° 4 to 7 years = order, homework, schedules, cleanliness, imaginary creatures, wild animals, wind, thunder, rain, accidents .... TRIGGERS anxiety.
To 6 years, the child is anxious about his academic performance and social relationships.
° but at any age, the child's anxiety may be due to injury hidden unconscious on pregnancy, birth, stress experienced by the mother. .. anything that could lead to marked anxiety of the mother from conception: footprint the child carries within him and he will express with your body (sleep, food, speech, behavior, somatization, illness. . .
@ 7 TIPS ANTI - ANXIETY FOR PARENTS:
1. MEET THE NEEDS OF THE CHILD : establish clear benchmarks, clear boundaries that secure and reassuring.
2. ACCEPT THAT THE CHILD IS NOT PERFECT OR DIFFERENT FROM WHAT WE WANT THE : do not put pressure on him, do not subject it to too high a requirement "can not be done with what we have."
3. STRENGTHEN CONFIDENCE IN HIM : regularly encourage him to take concience of its powers, weaknesses to overcome them, help them assert themselves when faced with, but not accompany him to his place.
4. FACING THE CHALLENGES : do not anticipate "it's difficult, you never get it." Do not do it for him, he must live his experience, does not attend, do not offer standard solutions "you should be like this or like that, "
encourage rather to respond with his personality, emotions, positivism, not discourage it, cultivate their trust in him" I'm sure you will succeed you in 're capable. "
5. TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN , to be with him, emotionally attentive presence but not intrusive, reassuring presence and structuring.
6. BE CAREFUL TO CONDUCT ITS ... body language (acts, attitudes, behaviors, somatization, illness) .., focus on talking and communication in everyday life: "the words rather than evil."
7. ENSURE HIS OWN STRESS PARENT : learning to manage emotions, not to project her own anxiety about her children (need to work on oneself).
@ 4 YEARS TO BE IN WHOLE FAMILY TO RELAX:
1.The EGG : to kneeling, sitting on his heels, head forward resting on the floor, arms on each side of the body, palms up ... perfect relaxing position to regain his composure.
2. THE BLAST AND THE CANDLE : sitting upright, a hand to his mouth, blowing gently on the palm as if to extinguish a candle, keep the hand gradually until you no longer feel the touch of air promotes exercise .. relaxation.
3. THE BIG BELLY : lying on the floor on his back, legs bent, hands at the navel, the belly is inflated like a balloon and then returned in the belly breath, breath through your nose, exhalation through the nose or mouth about 10 time to provide relief and relaxation.
4. THE ROCKER standing, torso bent forward, head and neck is relaxed, swinging arms, legs slightly bent .. like the pendulum of a clock, we balance the arms on each side of the body, breath at sunrise, bringing an end in downward to release tension .
@ IN CONCLUSION CAN BE LEARNED OPTIMISM ... the role of parents, adults around the child is paramount (education, words, deeds. Life choices. ..) Parents are role models that the child will imitate .
PARENTS = OPTIMISTIC CHILD OPTIMISTIC!
° FOR MORE INFORMATION:
- Small and great anxiety - Alain poacher (ed. Odile Jacob)
- The child who was ill: injuries necessary to avoid injury-Mazet Muriel (ed. Desclée Brouwer)
- The child and adolescent anxiety - how to appease them - Dr. Servant - (ed. Odile Jacob)
