GIVE ... because, in fact, the notion of effort is not innate but must be acquired through education parents and adults around the child.
TASTE ... that is to say, pleasure, envy ... the taste of the effort is the result of learning (the role of adults) .
EFFORT ... make efforts to overcome resistance external or internal, to solve a problem or achieve a goal in life .... everyday life in school demand courage and tenacity. To teach children, it is necessary to be convinced himself, being an example!
@ EFFORT THAT TERM IS UP TO EVIL IN OUR SOCIETY!
° We want everything and then we satisfy our desires without it there is desire or frustration.
° There is no time to wait if we get impatient, we get angry, you become aggressive!
° It requires the immediate performance: know everything right now (computer, video games, educational games more and earlier) which leaves little room for learning, errors, mistakes, failures!
° television games exude a different concept of success mediated by money, charm, charm, luck and not work, perseverance, tenacity, patience ... the effort.
° The sign of the transient or abrupt switch of the idols of sport or spectacle gives the impression that the glory acquired by a magic wand and disappears immediately.
DIFFICULT IN THESE CONDITIONS TO CONVINCE KIDS THAT TIME AND THE MERGER ARE NEEDED!
° The current generation is called "Kleenex" ... I love, I no longer love, I throw I move on!
° From many parents - under the guise of loving their children - meet their every need immediately, giving no limits, no frustration, avoid any stress, any difficulty in doing in their place! Likewise, they hide or conceal their difficulties in life ...
your role is not to spare him the difficulties
but to help only cross the obstacles.
@ BUT WHAT IS STRESS?
° When the barrier is crossed, the child is proud "It was difficult and it is me who" have done "where development confidence, independence and awareness of its capabilities.
° The effort creates a different attitude to time: the child locked in this obliges to action to get something later: it out so the only immediate sense to introduce the future.
° The effort required to motivate : it develops the ability to imagine the result, pleasure "After"! "I realized that the future exists and I can give him this or that direction."
° The effort develops and optimism, creativity "what I do, I decide that I build here and now determines the future."
@ WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR PARENTS TO TEACH THE EFFORT?
° Conscious that the world is not always kind, parents tend to create around the child protective cocoon .. . But parenting is also about to discover the principle of reality "all the fruit will not fall from the tree, go pick them!" Eg. continue to dress and to fit a child goes against the development of autonomy that will put him in trouble at school when the teacher asked him to act alone! Instead it should accompany their child to grow up in the act: to show him, let him do his own experience, teach him to react to the difficulties. Eg. homework for a child to save him from bad grades prevented him from discovering the consequences of his actions!
° Teaching effort requires efforts for adults ... that must explain, encourage, demonstrate, demand, scold, praise ... Eg. store the child's bedroom in his place may be a saving of time and energy for parents but does a disservice to the child!
@ SO MOTIVATING YOUR CHILD?
° should bring them to tolerate suitable constraints their age by including the notion of pleasure "you can watch this show after homework" ... not "if you did your homework! (Formula reveals blackmail or exchange). The child is all the more motivated he perceives the interest of fiscal . Eg. learning to read takes effort, but the interest is to have the pleasure of reading a great story by himself, reading the posters in the street, the names of products in the supermarket, memorize a poem .... of where pride, confidence and independence.
° In respect of sports and recreation, it is necessary to take into account their preferences for motivation and desire born for the proposed target. Children are fond of effort to feel more autonomous larger, they need encouragement and compliments from adults.
Praise - him for his successes
Support him in his failures.
Do not be more strict with him
than you are with yourself.
@ EXPLAIN WHY ALWAYS THE CHILD AS EFFORT IS NEEDED.
° Explanations are essential to the child when asked something for the 1st time or when he rebelled and it is necessary to remind him always the purpose of the effort required . Ex: you have that you tidy your room to find your business easier, not to lose your toys for "be better in your head ";; image that speaks a lot to the children "when it arranges its business, it also falls into its head and it's better to learn and feel better. "ex: help me set the table, to bring the races into a family, it is important that everyone participates. If you make the effort to brush your teeth every day, you prevent the formation of cavities. "
° In so doing, the child is reassured by these requirements clear, precise and regular hence the interest rituals ; eg prepare his briefcase the night before is an effort that can be less anxious the next morning, go to bed early is an effort to avoid trouble waking up.
° The child needs to know what is expected him of the importance of clear rules . Banish "you do not help me" .. he was not asked for anything!
or "you can do better" ... parents demanding, never satisfied, or "you can not do anything" and it has always acted in his place!
@ AND IF THE CHILD DOES NOT MAKE THE EFFORT?
° For a child is mobilized, it is useful to let him feel the "missing" trying to assess their abilities, especially if the mother has the usual - since he was a baby - Anticipate the needs of the child or provide a systematic solution to all problems.
° In As the child grows, he needs to experience frustration before him ... to provide solutions that can realize desire, that ale the opportunity to develop strategies itself faced with difficulties, develop their intelligence and imagination to the obstacles.
° Previously, he needs help adult to seek together what can be done in a particular situation that difficult. Ex: I can not put my shoes, what can I do? my pen stopped working, what can I do? I do not know how the proposed exercise by the lady, what can I do? ... rather than give up, get angry, sulk, scream, yell, cry! ... Behavior increasingly common for children facing difficulties, which solves nothing and put them in trouble at school!
@ DESPITE EFFORT AND WHEN IT IS FAILURE?
° It must help the child understand why he failed, what has not worked . Ex: when the baby is small, and show remonstrate gesture difficult it failed and when it is larger, important to teach him to analyze why his efforts did not allow him to succeed: objectives too difficult or bad way?
° Mostly no blame, no judgments globalizing "you'll never" "you're too lazy" you're no "" you understand nothing "
because the child feeling disqualified will not want to repeat!
° It is essential allow the child to make mistakes, to miss, to make mistakes! Praise him for his success
; Support the shortcomings
Failing is not a failure
is an apprenticeship.
@ LITTLE EFFORT TO BECOME BIG!
° During early childhood, efforts are sometimes spontaneous because the child imitates others especially in the actions of everyday life.
In other areas, the child will need to be stimulated: Ex: dress himself, perform an exercise, make a game ... What motivates them: please the parents raise their approval, gaining autonomy, becoming "great" show what he can do (follow the famous "me alone" ), parents often lack confidence in their children, they ignore their capacity for autonomy (from 3 years a child can do many things alone!) Avoid "leave me alone, you will not know" "do not climb here, you'll fall" pose that attitude, you're gonna break it "!
° During childhood, the desire to please parents but also to remain master, the mistress, the friends, the greatest .. The child is ready to make efforts but mastery wrong time: it must be given marks, organize it with her schedule.
° During adolescence, the approval of friends will supplant that of the parents: the teenager needs to feel accepted by the group (fashion, attitudes, brands ... ) under the influence and child lack of identity, self-confidence and self esteem.
'S IMPORTANT NOT TO BUT WHAT IS WHAT!
There need to remember how important are the goals which they deny if it does not Day?! "Today, I prepare for tomorrow"
@ SO IN CONCLUSION?
° The parental attitude is crucial: they must be " Example "
and forward through education.
° If despite this, the child is in trouble with the effort, we have to question this behavior body language .... "What are you looking at us mean? " , Talk to him "words rather that the evils "... different situations can be generated: fear or refusal to grow up, fear of autonomy, lack of confidence, injunctions or requirements for success in life siblings, family history ...
Also read "How to promote the success and vitality of your child's school?"
archives of this blog: 1st article of September 2009!
GOOD BACK!
